I saw "Bring it On" twice, you know

Strange Moment of the Week
A few girls from one of my classes asked me to be the sponsor for the cheerleading squad. I laughed. What is this? Last year, I was approached to be the sponsor for the Hip-Hop Dance Club. Perhaps I exude an air of rhythm and fancy footwork, but I don’t realize it. It is possible that while I’m explaining semicolons or metaphors, there is some kid in the back thinking, “Boy, I bet that guy really has some moves. It’s too bad he can’t help us win the All-State Competition next month.”

Maybe I’m in the wrong profession. It is funny to picture me involved with cheerleading. Maybe I can be the guy that all of the girls throw up in the air. I’ll do a few backflips, then land with some brilliant flourish. I’m small-framed, so I could theoretically do that. No, I doubt the sponsors get involved with the tosses. I could, though, try to teach a difficult move that I know the girls couldn’t perform. I’ll throw my clipboard down in mock-frustration and say, “OK, girls, let me show you how it’s done. Put me up.” After several mid-air tumbles, the applause¬–and their hopes for winning the competition–would rise and fill the gymnasium.

I said no, I cannot be the sponsor for the team. I just can’t bear to think about the looks on their faces if they didn’t win State. They would have worked too hard to lose. I’ll practice my tumbles and think about next year.