Customer Loyalty

I am loyal to my local video bootlegger.


I discovered his store (a cave is a more apt description) back in
August when I first arrived. It's a 10 by 20 foot store with a wall
of DVD cases on one side, the new release titles scribbled in
chalk-drawn broken english on the other, and the counter on the third
side. That's where the magic happens.


My first purchase was going to be Garden State, the
movie that finally arrived to Portland the day after I left. It was
the movie I had been wanting to see since last year at this time.
Bootlegging DVD's is wrong, I said to myself in properly judgmental
tones. But, if I could just watch Garden State...


Garden State didn't arrive for some time. Each week,
I'd ask the Korean man if it arrived. "No, try again next week." One
time, he even scribbled it out on a post-it note next to the counter.
I imagined him calling his people after I left the building. "Mr.
Kim," he'd say in hushed tones, "I need a copy of Gradin Slate from
the United States. Some American is eager for it and he will pay good
money for it." The guy on the other end will simply say, "Consider it
done."


I remember that episode of Seinfeld (episode 138: "The Little Kicks")
in which Jerry is recruited to bootleg movies in a theater. I thought
it was far fetched, but now I know that it happens. Over the past six
months, I have seen a fair share of filmed-in-a-theater movies,
complete with coughing, that guy in front whose head is too big, and
those folks who leave to early. It's the complete moviegoing
experience without Junior Mints or popcorn.


Many of the copies are distorted due to a poor filming angle or the
sound is muffled and echoey. But once in a while, one hits the bootleg
motherlode: a screener. A screener is one of those DVDs of new movies
sent to Academy Award voting members to see the movie in order to vote
on it. I guess that members are too low on the ducats to go down the
street to pay to see one of the highly discussed movies. Instead,
they get these copies somewhere to watch and vote. Somewhere along
the way (and I want to keep my blind eyes closed to it so don't offer
me any possibilities) a copy of that ends up in the dingy shop in
Songtan, South Korea.


Recently, my bootlegger has competition. A street vendor opened up a
stand about 30 yards from the store. He has the same selection, but
offers a twist in the pricing. $10 each, or, if you buy two, you get
one for free. An awfully convoluted way to say three for $20.
Especially in korean-english. It's something that Barnes & Noble does
with its bargain book inventory. Not to be outdone, my place cut
prices to $5 per disc, but took away the free preview of the disc
before you buy. It's the classic Nordstrom vs. Costco, you only pay
for services provided. Pay more and preview, or less and risk a
shoddy copy?


I must admit that I went to the street vendor to buy
Sideways and Million Dollar Baby,
but only because my place was closed. I drove home, and felt a little
guilty about it. I hope that my guy doesn't find out about it. I'd
hate to hurt his feelings.

Korean Doldrums

Transfer rounds opened this week. Teachers throughout the building are scurrying to submit to transfer to Europe. Everyone wants to go where Kristie and I want to go: Italy. Being the new kids, we can’t apply for a transfer until next year at this time. Another year in Korea for us. February and March are the doldrums months in teaching; Christmas break is over; Spring Break is forever away. On top of that, add living in cold, cold, cold, Korea. Here are a few snapshots:

1. Before school, I had a dehydrated oatmeal package that required hot water. I went downstairs to the Korean lunch ladies to ask for help. She motioned that she would put water on for me and to “come back five minute.” I returned as told, but it still wasn’t ready. I returned again, and she told me that it was almost there. I said the obvious line, “This is like waiting for water to boil.” She looked confused, said “Yes, one minute,” and I realized at that moment that Koreans do not find me funny. I should cancel the comedy tour.

2. There is a foolish rule about walking on-base with headphones in your ears. I have a difficult time obeying it with my nifty iPod. I have been yelled at three times by security police. The odd thing is that many of the gate guard police are young airmen, so I’m getting scolded by nineteen-year-olds. I want to tell them that I was in the Air Force when they were born, but I doubt that would help matters any.

3. Korea is called the “Land of the Morning Calm.” That may be, but all of that calmness is a backdrop for the most frequent sound we hear: spitting. It is by far the most disgusting aspect about living in Korea. Everyone spits. It’s not just spitting, it is the sound of producing the spit, then the sound of spitting. All ages, both genders, all classes. In the mornings, I walk to work sometimes. I get to look at little frozen mounds all the way there. Disgusting. Italians don’t spit, do they?

Here are the positive sides of things:

1. I am going to Tokyo again next week for a training on the new SAT. I’ll leave on Monday and return on Friday.

2. I began my new class, Humanities. I think I’m going to love it.

3. Kristie and I are making Spring Break plans. At this time, it will be Vietnam or Bali.

4. A new subway station was just built near our house. We can jump on there and easily go to Seoul for under $2.00. There is a closer town, Suwon, that has modern shopping. It even has a Starbucks.

5. Kristie was able to get on a military flight to Seattle last week. It’s a great deal, only $25 each way. She arrived there on Thursday, and will be heading to Portland for a short trip. She’ll return about the same time I return from Tokyo.

6. She may have already mentioned this to some of you, but she has a part-time job tutoring a woman in English and American culture. She goes twice a week, and it sounds like a good situation.


I recently started a blog at http://coia.blogspot.com , in case you are interested.

Until next time,

Ron

Life Sentence

While I'm at it, why is it that every time I go to the movies here, there is a drunk guy sitting nearby talking too loudly to his date who I'm sure doesn't want to be there with him but went anyway because it was a situation in which she needn't make idle chatter but instead can think of ways to breakup with him but doesn't quite know how because Osan is so small that she knows that she will see him everywhere and that would be uncomfortable so she agrees to go to the movies to escape her humdrum world at least for 90 minutes of peace and quiet only to have him blathering on about God-knows-what too loudly that she'd want to slink away to the concession stand and bury her head in a pile of freshly-popped popcorn and drizzle herself with butter in order to feel better about a life that is not as good as she thought it would be when she was a teenager considering the Air Force as a career, a career that the recruiting commercials lied to her about since there is not upside-down flying pilots in her life, but rather there is just this guy, this annoying fellow who seems to think that Friday Happy Hour is the highlight of his week because the club serves one-dollar drinks and the waitress there is cute and he thinks she likes him and that his girlfriend doesn't know, but she knows more than she lets on and she thinks about this listening to his beer breath talk about ridiculous comments in the opening credits, she thinks of these things and more and she feels sorry for herself, for him, and for her parents who are telling their friends how proud they are of her daughter who was able to leave the small town and see the world, but the only world that she is seeing is the 27 square miles of Osan Air Base, and more specifically her dorm room which is 10 meters squared and she shares that with a roommate who snores yet she ignores this as well and feels a wave a sadness when she thinks of her mother crying when she left last summer mainly because she lives another life today inside of a movie theater?