Strange Entries from Vietnam

I am looking into a second Vietnam trip for Spring Break next month. We loved Saigon, and now we are considering Hanoi in the north. I am looking on various forums from travelers, and here are a few strange ones.

Girl I Left Behind
nightflier1348 - 03:15pm Jun 8, 2005 EST
Seeking DEAF girl I met In Saigon in June 1974. May have american child born in 1975.I am 57.She 50-57 years old.Neal Mikkelson 83 Woodland, Plano, ILLINOIS,U.S.A.60545

(I’m sure that the deaf girl is real eager to see you, too, Neal. She probably has a few choice words for you.)

No Cell Phones Please
Hey, I am looking for a place I can go that is out of cell phone range. You see, I have found that the microwaves from cell phone towers make me sick - so I want to find a place I can go where they can't use them. Anyone know of any places in SOUTH-EAST ASIA that is out of range. A nice secluded island would be nice.
(perhaps you could travel to the living room of our old house...no reception at all)

Tulico train offer comfortable, air-conditioned soft sleepers. While this is not a luxurious train, it offers good alternative transportation to Sa Pa from Ha Noi. It has soft sleepers, A/C and clean four-berth cabins. You will be provided with one bottle of water, a small snack and a napkin.
(wow...a napkin!)

Cambodia, Laos, Myanmar, Vietnam
Hi
Cambodia, Laos, Myanmar, Vietnam what's the best?
what must I see in one mouth?
Thanks
Olá
(is this from a traveling dentist?)

Dickie Whacker?
Has anybody met a crazy curly haired middle age American who calls himself Dicky Whacker? We met him in Laos but I think he's been all over the place?
Does anybody know if he was a compulsive liar, or was he really once the personal masseur to Ronald Reagan?
(seriously, does it even matter?)

The size of my Dong
I'm arriving in Saigon on a Saturday afternoon, apparently after the banks close. Where's the best place to change travellers cheques in the Dong Khoi area on a weekend?
Also, my TCs are $100 denominations. That's a huge wad when converted into Dong, right? Will it too big for my wallet? Thanks.
(A joke that was waiting to be told)