The Outsider

Today is another day of questioning this decision. I am an outsider here is many ways, and it is uncomfortable. Being an outsider among Koreans is the easy, expected one. I think I can deal with being an American how doesn’t speak Korean; I’ve played a similar role when I lived in Germany. Being an outsider in the local economy is nothing new. Sure it’s uncomfortable, but in a fun way. Far worse than that is how I feel as an outsider with the other teachers at the high school. Ever since I have arrived, I felt passed over by others as if I had blood on my door. I am not receiving the same treatment I think the others are getting from the established teachers. I can’t explain it, but it appears that I am being ignored. I felt a similar feeling when I arrived at Clackamas, but that is so much different. Here, I need people to help me, rather than simply making friends. With the exception of a few people, the staff doesn’t seem interested in getting to know me. I’m not looking for a sleepover invitation for Christmas morn, just a few kind words. The principal knows little about me (she talked about the school’s strengths the entire time) and hasn’t tried. I was in her office on Monday to have a chat, but she talked about how great Osan High School is.

If one more person tells me that Osan’s students are the best, and how I’ll never have an experience like this again, and whatever other cult-sounding phrases I have heard more times than I’ve seen trash in the streets, I’m going to scream.