Kierkegaard’s Elephant

I’m at Starbucks at 7:30 in the morning.

I arrived in Chang Mai with a wicked cold. We unpacked, walked around a bit, and then I went to bed. I thought it was going away, but I’m still hacking and sniffling like I was a suspicious addict. Today’s Friday, and there are no signs of clarity on the horizon.

Kristie and I both like this city in northern Thailand much better than Bangkok. It has a university-city feel. Lots of great restaurants and shopping. I had three pairs of pants and a sports coat tailor-made here. I felt like such a big shot. I greased his palm with a 100. The commoners stared in awe.

Yesterday, we went hiking, rafting, and elephant riding. The first two activities were fun, although the rafting was a bit cold. Elephant riding, however, took a few years of life from me. Not only was it a circus atmosphere with the “trainers” beating the animals and throwing rocks at them, but it also felt quite dangerous. Our elephant had a mental problem, we believe, considering that he kept banging his head into the wall and that he tried to walk off a cliff with us attached. Unpleasant. He was experiencing, as Kierkegaard calls it, the “sense of dread.” He was steering his life into the freedom that death brings. I sympathize with this animal, I really do, but I do not want to be perched on him while he is caught in this existential dilemma.

Our friends thought it was great fun, along with a group of Brits who acted like high school boys. They were in awe at the feces dropping from the elephant, and couldn’t seem to enjoy anything else. These were the same boys snapping photos of one of their mates using the outhouse. I suppose it was a circus in more than one way. It was like being in an episode of The Osbournes, only much less interesting.

The books warned about these touristy elephant camps, but we didn’t listen. I mean, who doesn’t want to ride an elephant?

Even Old New York Was Once New Amsterdam

Fun Fact! Thailand was called Siam until 1939. Being here makes me want to watch Anna and the King, except for the fact that Jodie Foster is in it. I know I could rent The King and I, but doesn’t Yul Brenner sing in that?

Chang Mai

I still don’t know how to spell it. Forgive me.

We are here with Kim and Susan, teachers from Osan. Also, Ajay and Anish met us here as well. I told many of you before about Ajay; he was a student in my class during my student teaching year at Mansfield, Massachusetts, in 1999. Ajay and Anish, his brother, stayed with us in Korea for a week before Thanksgiving, then came to Thailand. We are hanging around with them in Chang Mai until Sunday morning.

Bed

Last night, we had supper in bed.

There’s a restaurant here called Bed, which the guidebook boasts that it is the coolest place to eat in Bangkok. Being the cool guy that I am (let me have this moment), I wanted to go.

We arrived at 7:30 for drinks in the bar; the restaurant doesn’t open until 8:00. Why is it that the cooler you are, the later you eat? Just for the record, Kristie and I usually eat at 4:15 pm sharp. At the appropriate time, we were escorted to our “table” by a guy with a plain, white t-shirt with the phrase “Creativity Makes Me Horny.” The tables were two long, white-sheeted beds spanning the length of the restaurant. We took our shoes off and climbed in. There is a small table only big enough for drinks and a candle. A DJ stood in the middle of the place with his Powerbook for a turntable. He had his earphones on only one ear, the way they do in those fancy New York clubs, and his head bobbed with the electronic smooth booms. Scantily-clad stiletto-heeled Thai women pranced around with drinks and menus. Bed has two floors of dining, and these off-balanced waitresses climbed stairs (and ladders!) with great ease.

The menu was set, with a couple of choices. We all had the tuna for an appetizer, and a tomato-mozzarella-balsamic-vinegar salad. I had the King Crab penne, and Kristie had the salmon. The white waitresses handed us the food and we ate on our laps, the way our moms served us when we were pretending to be sick to stay home from school. After the meal, we had a lemon cheesecake.

During the meal, a magician came around doing tricks. He spoke English OK (magic-english, if you will: “Is this your card? and “Close your hand with this coin”). He was amused at his own tricks, and, after making two sponge rabbits turn into an entire family of rabbits (is a trick on fornicating bunnies appropriate for dinner?), he laughed and told us this was “Very magic.” I tried to show him a trick or two of my own, but no one offered me a magical job. He handed me his card, perhaps offering to bring me under his tutelage.

We paid the bill (over $40 each) around 10 pm. By then, the REALLY cool people were coming in and the music was even louder. Customers were drinking drinks in martini glasses and shot glasses, and Thievery Corporation was even a bit too loud for me, even though I have them on my iPod in heavy rotation. We walked out of the space ship down the curved, steep stairs. I almost tripped, and I wasn’t even wearing my heels.

www.bedsupperclub.com

One Night in Bangkok

The alarm rang at 3:45 am on Saturday morning. We got out of bed, did the last-minute packing, and boarded the 5:45 am bus to Inchon Airport. Our plane left for Bangkok, Thailand, at 10:50 am. We had an unexpected layover in Hong Kong, and checked into the Marriot at 9:00 pm. It was a long day filled with airplane food and sermons on how to buckle my seat belt.

It’s 8:30 am on Sunday, and I’m listening to Elliot Smith and typing this poolside. We ate sandwiches and pastries for breakfast, and Kristie then went for a swim. A family walked by and stared at my Mac, either with lust or derision. I’m going with lust.

We’ll stay in Bangkok until Tuesday, then go north to Chaing Mai, then on Christmas, we’ll fly down to the island of Koa Samui. Katrina, Kristie’s sister, will meet us there.

I’ll update with pictures as wi-fi permits.

Countdown

It is cold here in Korea. This is this-is-why-I-left-New-England cold. Isn’t the phrase “cold as hell” a misnomer? Why do we want to say this?

Four more days of school until our Thailand trip. We are leaving on Saturday morning for Bangkok, then Chaing Mai, then to the beaches on Koh Sumui. We return to Korea on New Year’s Day.

I checked; there is a Starbucks at each of these places.

What Sean Had for Lunch

Sean at school offered the most unique reason why he didn’t have his essay for class. The seventeen-year-old explained that his paper was on his portable flash drive, but he got sick and threw up on it. The vomit, he went on to say, messed up the drive and he could no longer access his files. He said that he even took it to a Korean computer fix-it shop, but even they—those who supposedly work wonders with puke-soaked electronics—could not retrieve the needed paper.

It reminds me of a bit of writing advice from Ray Bradbury, the author of Fahrenheit 451. “Throw up on your typewriter in the morning; clean it up in the afternoon.” I wonder if this is what Sean had in mind. Someone forgot to tell him that Ray meant this figuratively.

I gave him an extension mainly because I was amused. I excused myself from class, went to the staff bathroom, and washed my hands. Twice.

Narnia

The Chronicles of Narnia was released today in the States. I am eager to see it, but it only plays on base while we are in Thailand. Figures.

It’s Aslan’s namesake; the least they could do is show it this week so our dog can watch it and understand her roots.