Bed

Last night, we had supper in bed.

There’s a restaurant here called Bed, which the guidebook boasts that it is the coolest place to eat in Bangkok. Being the cool guy that I am (let me have this moment), I wanted to go.

We arrived at 7:30 for drinks in the bar; the restaurant doesn’t open until 8:00. Why is it that the cooler you are, the later you eat? Just for the record, Kristie and I usually eat at 4:15 pm sharp. At the appropriate time, we were escorted to our “table” by a guy with a plain, white t-shirt with the phrase “Creativity Makes Me Horny.” The tables were two long, white-sheeted beds spanning the length of the restaurant. We took our shoes off and climbed in. There is a small table only big enough for drinks and a candle. A DJ stood in the middle of the place with his Powerbook for a turntable. He had his earphones on only one ear, the way they do in those fancy New York clubs, and his head bobbed with the electronic smooth booms. Scantily-clad stiletto-heeled Thai women pranced around with drinks and menus. Bed has two floors of dining, and these off-balanced waitresses climbed stairs (and ladders!) with great ease.

The menu was set, with a couple of choices. We all had the tuna for an appetizer, and a tomato-mozzarella-balsamic-vinegar salad. I had the King Crab penne, and Kristie had the salmon. The white waitresses handed us the food and we ate on our laps, the way our moms served us when we were pretending to be sick to stay home from school. After the meal, we had a lemon cheesecake.

During the meal, a magician came around doing tricks. He spoke English OK (magic-english, if you will: “Is this your card? and “Close your hand with this coin”). He was amused at his own tricks, and, after making two sponge rabbits turn into an entire family of rabbits (is a trick on fornicating bunnies appropriate for dinner?), he laughed and told us this was “Very magic.” I tried to show him a trick or two of my own, but no one offered me a magical job. He handed me his card, perhaps offering to bring me under his tutelage.

We paid the bill (over $40 each) around 10 pm. By then, the REALLY cool people were coming in and the music was even louder. Customers were drinking drinks in martini glasses and shot glasses, and Thievery Corporation was even a bit too loud for me, even though I have them on my iPod in heavy rotation. We walked out of the space ship down the curved, steep stairs. I almost tripped, and I wasn’t even wearing my heels.

www.bedsupperclub.com