What I Learned in German Class

We went to German class tonight. I wasn't paying attention to the teacher, and, instead, looked up strange words in my dictionary.

1. Blutspender means "blood donor." Blood spender...Graphic.

2. The German word for "soon" is bald. Is this a cruel joke that the Teutonic vernacular is playing on me, someone who is thinning on top? Don't I have enough to deal with without the cruelty and mocking of a language when nature's course is completed? In Italian, "soon" is translated presto. I like the sound of that better. It's has a magical feel to it.

3. The word for "thick" and "fat" would make junior high boys--and me--giggle with forbidden delight.